Hired and Fired:
the extraordinary adventures
of
Elliot the Cat
by Anna B. Bananna
Chapter 1
“Aaaand... checkmate, Cookie! Yeah! Take THAT!”
I curved my lips up into a pretend snarl; I couldn't be properly angry at Billy
the Human. He had, after all, won fair and square. But getting it rubbed into
your face still hurt. Especially when Billy reached forwards and grabbed the
$5 we'd been playing for with a smug expression on his face.
“Cookie, you're gonna have to work harder to beat ME!” sneered Billy.
“I told you already, it's Elliot!” I snapped. I HATE it when the humans use
silly nicknames for me just because I'm a cat. I've learnt things they couldn't
DREAM of, figured out secrets of the Universe that their minds would
explode upon hearing and yet, they call me “Cookie” because of the color of
my fur! How d-
“Hey, Cookie, you gonna have one or what?”offered Billy, holding out a
platter of shrimps he'd been snacking on. My anger diminished, and I reached
out a lion-size paw and grabbed one, tossing it into my whisker surrounded
mouth. The shrimp was covered in a slightly tangy, ranch-y, salty-sweet
sauce that made my heightened cat-senses tingle pleasantly.
“I thank you kindly,” I uttered politely, like any fine gentle-cat would.
Billy laughed.
“Drop the formal already, Cookie, and eat some shrimp before I eat them for
you!”
I followed his gaze and saw a platter of the delicious sea-livestock placed in
front of me. I had been so pre-occupied in our game that I hadn't noticed that
the assistant had gently placed a platter down at our little chess-table for me.
Delighted at the opportunity, I tucked in. After the last bite of food has been
swallowed and devoured, I began setting up the game board for another
round of chess.
Seven games of chess and five platters of shrimp later, content and happy, we
were ready to go home.
“Can I have the bill?” asked Billy, as the assistant passed by. Unflinchingly,
Mr. Drey Grey, the assistant, swept up a long piece of paper, and Billy's eyes
widened.
“O-okay. Do you have to make it so expensive, though? I mean, you're my
personal assistant! Can you talk to someone and make it cheaper?” Billy
stuttered. The assistant gave an uncertain smile.
“I am afraid not. You know how they are, these expensive restaurants.
Besides, you did pay extra for that cat-friendly sauce,” he said. “So, debit or
cash?”
Trembling slightly, Billy took out a card from his wallet. Grey Drey grabbed
a wired little machine that I knew humans used to transfer money off the
nearest self. Billy pressed the card on it.
“Declined,” said the voice from the machine. “Card not accepted.”
“Heh-he... probably an.. error...” Billy laughed nervously. He was sweating
under his baseball cap. He tapped it again.
“Declined,” said the female voice again. “No money left on card. Try another
time” Billy voice was high pitched and sort of... closed in.
“C-Cookie!”
***
We were back in the house. Mansion would probably be a better word.
Expensive lighting was flashing, revealing the marble fireplace, burning
brightly also. Antique furniture stood elegantly. And on the velvet couch sat
Billy, face in palms and making slight sniffling noises. My paw was on his
shoulder, yet it was doing little to comfort him. The assistant set a platter of a
tea in front of him. Eyes watering, Billy looked up and took a cup. Then he
collapsed into what I call “Total Meltdown Mode” in humans. He broke into
sobs and let his head fall to his knees. I patted him on the back.
“Oh dear,” said Grey Drey, with confused expression on his face.
“Be quiet,” I suggested. “And please get some of the white soft paper things.
Tissues, I think they are called. They can be helpful sometimes.”
The assistant did so.
Chapter 2
I led Billy to his room and calmed him down. Cats have a talent for that type
of things.
“Th-thanks, Cookie. I don't know w-what I would do without you.”Billy
blew his nose.
“I told you, it's Elliot!” I corrected him.
“Good night you, too. Billy smiled through his tears. I left him and went to
my cat bed to sleep.
***
I awoke to someone poking my tummy. I ignored it. I wanted to SLEEP, not
wake up. The poking continued. I rolled over. There was a pause, and I heard
Billy's voice say.
“C'mon, Cookie, ya sleepyhead! Get up!” I groggily opened my eyes. Then,
as yet another poke pierced my tummy, I sprang up and saw Billy, his finger
in a poking position.
“What did you have to do that for?” I moaned. “I was dreaming of shrimp!”
Shrimp... Oh no. The stream of memories from yesterday came flooding back
to me.
“Cookie, we have to talk.” Billy said, his face grim. I followed him to the
kitchen table, where he sat me down. Drey Grey placed some tea and
crumpets in front of us.
“Almost all of my grand-grand-grandparent's fortune has been used up and
we're gotten into debt,” Billy sighed.
“Either we do something to earn some more money, or we'll go broke, and I'll
have to give the house away and go to the homeless shelter... Where, you
know, cats aren't allowed. Cookie – I am so sorry, but... I'd have to give you
to the pet shelter.”
The tea exited my mouth in a spray, drenching the assistant, who was not
satisfied.
“B-b-h-w-ss...” I had so many questions I didn't know what to ask.
Eventually, I settled for,
“But why me? Can't you earn money?”
“Of course, I will! At least, I'll try, but I'm not good at anything, really. I'll
have trouble finding a job, and I'll never earn enough by myself! Please,
Cookie, I am begging you!”
It was the pleading expression on his face and his desperate voice that
convinced me. I was going to make Billy proud, and then he'll finally stop
calling me stupid nickname! I nodded. Billy's face relaxed.
“Thank goodness! Oh, by the way, your first job as a worker in a grocery
shop starts in a couple of hours.” Billy smiled.
“AAAAA!”
I panicked. How could he have “left out” that very important detail? I ran up
to the wardrobe to get dressed.
I shoved on my best tuxedo, bow tie, and long socks that went up to my
knees, a gentleman's cane and white leather gloves. Billy waved me off as I
headed outside to go to the local supermarket. I was nervous. If I let Billy
down, he'd have to give me away to some pet shelter! I shuddered. The local
pet shelter doesn't let cats even wear clothes! I'd have to be naked!
I took a deep breath. It was going to be okay. I knocked on the supermarket
door. It opened.
“AAAH!” Screamed the girl with the superstore apron. Her almond eyes
stared up at me, frightened.
“W-w-what are you?”
“The new employee. I am pleased to meet you.” I responded. I stuck out a
paw. Nervously, the young lady shook it. Her fear faded at one.
“You're so fluffy! How come you're wearing a tuxedo, by the way?” she
smiled.
“First of all, thank you for the compliment. I acquire a number of fur care
products-”
“But why the tuxedo?” she interrupted. Apparently, a lion-size tabby cat in a
tuxedo with a cane and white gloves was confusing to her.
“Well, I couldn't show up to my job NAKED! Did you expect me to?” I
asked, a little irritated. She giggled.
“My name is Kathleen. Come on, let me show you inside!” she grinned. I
followed her to my new job.
Chapter 3
I stepped inside. It was your standard grocery shop. Shelves flocked the
aisles, humans swarmed to pick up food that was 50% off. It smelled of
plastic and, of course, food. My thought process was, however, violently
interrupted by Kathleen the grocery girl shoving a green and black uniform at
me.
“Here, silly, put this on!” She giggled. I was appalled. How could they
possibly expect me to wear that complete disgrace to the name of clothes? I
opened my mouth to say something, but then snapped it shut again. I couldn't
let Billy down! So I went into restrooms to change.
“Aw, you look so cute!” Kathleen beamed. I went red.
“Is this abomination of the title, “clothes” – what you call cute?” I asked.
The girl reached out a hand... and PETTED me! I sprang back and hissed.
How could she just treat me like a common house cat? But before I could
object, a bell rang.
I followed the grocery girl to my first shift. She led me behind a counter.
There were little machines all over the place. Customers, she explained, will
come in, and you have to take the black and white lines and drag them over
the red light.
“And then, thank the customer politely and give them one of these – ” she
pulled out a thin piece of paper with lines and names of random foods on it,
“– papers, sound OK?” I nodded.
The bell rang again, announcing the start of my first shift. Men with sweaty
shirts and women looking for perfume filed through the door. It wasn't long
before one of them approached the counter with an armful of potatoes, milk
and cereal. The moment he saw me, his face converted in an unmistakable
grin.
Multiple people were now gathered around me. Questions rang in from all
sides.
“Why are you so fluffy?”
“Can I pet you?”
“Can I boop your little nosey-wosey?”
“People, people, make a line! Don't you remember the rules?”
The latter was from employee, looking extremely confused. Dismayed, the
humans formed a line and waited. The first in line, the man with potatoes,
milk and cereal, walked up. The whole time I was scanning the products, he
looked at me with a terrible sort of hunger on his face.
“Can I help you with something?” I asked, unnerved.
“So... fluffy... want... to squish!” His face furious, he made grabbing motions
with his hands directed at my belly. With a mental face-palm, I realized what
he was feeling. Cute aggression! Ugh! I hated it when humans did that!
“I would prefer it if you didn't,” I responded. The man fell back,
disappointed.
Oh, no. What have I gotten myself into?
***
A few hours later, my hat sat crooked on my head. One of my eyes was
twitching as I bade goodbye to a woman who had made several attempts to
pounce on me during the check-out time. Then, a tall man approached me.
Instantly, I knew that something was off. His face was wrapped in a scarf,
and he was wearing large sunglasses... inside! His smell reminded me of
something, but I couldn't tell what. And in his hands, he held a single can. As
he placed it on the counter, I hesitated.
And... A quick flash of silver danced across my vision, and the contents of
the can started to spill out. As the green powder leaked, and its scent
dispersed into the air, I realized with horror what it was. CATNIP!
No. No! It couldn't happen. Not on my first shift! But it was too late. The
substance was in the air, entering through my nostrils and messing with my
brain. It was the cat equivalent to drinking 3 jugs of wine. I did the first thing
I could think of, and, using all of my lion-size strength, I batted the jar into
the wall.
“F-for damaged items, please see aisle... what's it called... fiv-ve.” My voice
shook.
“Did you drink 3 jugs of wine or something? Forget aisle five, I'm talking to
your boss!” The strange man said. Then, he spat at my face. It was quite
lousy aim, though, so I was able to dodge it even in my drunk state.
Unfortunately, I made the receipt machine tumble to the floor.
“Vandalism!” I heard the awful man mutter, while storming away. I couldn't
stay here any longer. The smell of catnip was getting to me. I mumbled,
“restroom”, and headed off, at least until I could recollect myself. I went into
a washroom stall, and a couple of seconds later, I realized what had happened
and started to cry. I curled up into a ball on the toilet seat and let the tears
stain my fluffy fur. I lay there for I don't know how long, until I heard the
door click... and open.
A chubby human with a repulsant beard, and a flaming scarlet, furious face. I
stood up and started to speak.
“I apologize for the current circum-”
“Shut up! I don't care about your fancy talk!” He interrupted. He looked like
a man with a little room in his heart for good manners and little room in his
mind for gentle-manliness.
“Drunk on the job?” He was positively screaming at this point, spraying my
face with flecks of spit. “Destroying products? Get OUT OF MY SHOP!” He
kicked me in my furry belly, and I doubled over with pain. “Well? What are
you waiting for? YOU'RE FIRED! GET OUT!”
Humiliated, and eyes watering, I made my exit out of the back door. Then, I
realized I forgot my best tuxedo.
Chapter 4
I trudged home. The truth started to sink in. I let Billy down. I was going
away to the naked-pet shelter. I would never see Billy or the assistant, Mr
Drey Grey or Grey Drey, or whoever he was. Also, my fluffy dignity really
hurt. Tears started coming down. I bolted home, leaving a trail of tears behind
me. My hand found the keys, and the door of the Mansion. I ran inside.
There sat Billy, Mr. Drey Grey and a plate of tea and crepes.
“I apologize for the c-” I started, but my voice broke.
“How was your first day?” Billy asked, concerned. Mr. Drey Grey also
looked up and gave me a friendly wave. I broke down in tears and hugged
Billy.
“I-I apologize. You see, a person was buying...” and I told them the whole
story.
“I'm s-sorry, Billy. Now you'll have to give me and the Mansion away.” I
wailed. Billy sat me down on the couch.
“Now, Cookie, don't get depressed THAT easily! That man was horrible and
you know he was.” Billy comforted me.
“And guess what, Cookie? I'm getting a job too! I'm working as a Pizza
Delivery guy at Pizza Wizza, and it's just enough to cover out food and half
of Grey Drey's shifts!”
“I told you, it's Drey Grey!” said Mr. Grey Drey at the same time as I said “I
told you, it's Elliot!” I felt immediate sympathy towards Mr. Grey Drey. Billy
chuckled. He put his arm around me.
“Don't worry, Cookie, we'll pull through. We'll be OK!” He started stroking
my back, and I fell asleep purring with my head on his shoulder.
***
I woke up on my cat bed. He lasting effects of the catnip were faded, if not
gone entirely. I yawned. Stretching, I got out of bed. This morning, I didn't
have any trouble remembering yesterday, although I wish I did. Rubbing my
eyes, I sat down in a chair round the kitchen table. After receiving a plate of
crumpets and a friendly smile from the waving Mr. Grey Drey, I turned to
Billy.
“What are we going to do, Billy?” I asked.
“We'll pull through. By the way, did you know that downtown, a construction
crew needs some workers? You could work there!” He said half-heartedly. I
knew that me getting fired struck him as a real blow, but it hurt to see him
like this. I was getting him out of there. I knew I was.
“Sign me up,” I said, determined.
***
Billy waved me off as I headed outside to go to the local construction site. I
was nervous. It was a cool summer morning, and I could already hear the
construction noises coming from inside the unstable-looking building. It
smelled like cardboard, wood, paint and glue. I raised my paw to knock the
wooden door to the construction site. I hesitated.
What if it turned out to be like last time? And I failed Billy yet again? Of
course, I knew perfectly well that not all of it was my fault last time, and a
building was way less likely to have catnip stashed in the aisles. But still –
I took a deep breath. I was being irrational. Besides, half of the building had
gaping holes and windows, even empty roofs! The catnip wouldn't affect me
here, even if it was there. Just as I was about to knock, the door swung open.
Chapter 5
There stood a big muscly guy with tattoos. He had untidy hair, and a very
bushy beard.
“New em-” he begun to say and then he caught a sight on me.
“Hey, crew!” He called in a gruff voice. Six or seven similar men began to
round in on me. Oh no. What had I done this time? I prepared myself, but
then...
“Who's my little pussy-wussy cat?” Said the guy with tattoos.
Suddenly I was surrounded by seven tenderhearted workers, who were
apparently my new crew.
“Aww, who has such a sweet little nosey?”
“Look at his little furry ears!”
“Oh my gosh, your belly is so fluffy!”
“All right crew, no more joking around!” said an important-looking figure in
a cowboy hat and orange vest. “Time to show the new employee around!”
There were many disappointed grumbles from the muscly humans. One of
them objected by implying that I was cute, but I was more than happy to be
led away from the men by important figure. They were slightly too passionate
for me.
“Hello, new employee. Welcome to the site. I am the construction manager.”
I noticed that he was wearing a wig and a cowboy hat that covered most of
his face. He looked slightly ridiculous, but I wasn't about to insult the boss!
Maybe he was unhappy about his appearance. Humans often lacked the self-
confidence that was so natural in natural in felines.
“You will be working in room 14. Meet me in 15 minutes, I have to get
something prepared. Ask any employee if you need help. They would be
more than happy to see you again.”
I gulped. I was not eager to meet those guys again. They did have good
intentions, but there was only a certain amount of cute aggression that I was
all right with.
“Thank you for your kind assistance, I am extremely grateful.” I told the
manager and he headed out.
It wasn't long until I ran into one of the workers, specifically, the tattooed
man. His name turned out to be Jake. Jake happily led me to room 14.
“Thank you, Jake. I am content to be working alongside you and your kind
manager.” I thanked Jake.
“Manager? You've already met him? Oh.. I thought he didn't show up till
noon today... Anyway, I wouldn't exactly call him “kind”. But whatever.”
Jake shrugged. This did not line up at all.
“Wait... If he wasn't your manager, then who was that guy in the cowboy hat
at the entrance?” I shouted after Jake, but Jake wasn't listening. He was half-
skipping away and humming a sea shanty. Jake was very kind, but perhaps
not the sharpest tool in the shed. He had taken me to the room 11 instead of
14.
After some searching, I finally got to room 14's door. I was confused. This
part of the building already looked built, why did they need my help here?
And what did Jake say about the manager? When I found him, I would have a
lot of questions. But right now, I had to do my job, or else I'd get fired. I
knocked.
“Come in!” called the familiar voice of the manager. At least I didn't have to
find him. I went inside.
Room 14 was a gray, unappealing dark place. I could understand now why it
could need a bit more work. I turned to the manager, who was working on
something with his back to me, but as I did, I noticed something that made
my heart leap with joy. A box! An open, giant cardboard box sat in the corner.
Fortunately, it didn't tempt me too long, because I remembered I had
something to do.
“Greetings. I came to discuss the matte-” I began.
“I'm busy, can you hand me the screwdriver?” He said promptly, ignoring my
question. I could understand what Jake meant about him not being the nicest
person.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“ Could you please look in the box and hand me the number 3 screwdriver?
This isn't a question. Do as you're told or I'll fire you!”
Okay, this guy seemed slightly ruder than he was before. His cowboy hat was
slightly askew, and the wig wasn't placed very well, as if someone had
shoved both of them onto his head without taking the care to assemble them
properly. His vest seemed ruffled, and his tie seemed crumpled up, as if he
had thown it on the moment I got here. But since the threat of being fired was
on the table, I nodded.
“I shall, of course, assist you in this matter, but I still don't-”
“Do as you're told!”
Slightly irritated, I went over to the big, soft, comfortable cardboard box. The
temptation was filling every part of my body, and the urge to jump in was
overwhelming. But I couldn't! I spotted the #3 screwdriver at the very edge
of the inside of the box, alone and far out of reach. I reached over, leant
forwards... and just as my fingers closed around the fat screwdriver, I felt a
shove from behind me. Just as I looked up, the box above me slam shut.
Darkness seemed to be pouring in from all sides. But the smell of cardboard
was so strong, and it was so cozy... Besides, if I just curled up and slept
nobody would notice...
***
I was dreaming of a warm summer day. I was sitting at a table, having an
elegant conversation with a beautiful cat lady. The sun was shining down. I
started purring. Then, I heard the box above me open. I stopped mid-purr and
opened my groggy eyes. I realized what was happening. I noticed a tough-
looking man with a name tag that said “Manager” looming over me. This
wasn't the cowboy-hat guy I'd met at all. I stood up immediately, #3
screwdriver in hand and probably looking ridiculous.
“Who are YOU?” Asked the man.
“My name is Elliot. I am the new employee, and I was sent to r-”
“Correction, you WERE the new employee. I do not permit sleeping on the
job! You are unfortunately, fired. Bye.” He interrupted. I was mortified.
Shell-shocked, I stumbled out of the room.
“And leave the frigging screwdriver here, pussycat!” The manager called
after me. Face burning, I hurried back to return the screwdriver, and dragged
my feet to the exit. Just as I was about to leave, I heard a gruff voice behind
me.
“Hey, kitty!” it was Jake. Helpless, I looked back at him.
“I heard what happened, kitty. But you really can't sleep on the job, or else
everyone will want to sleep, too!” I sighed. He didn't understand at all, but
his support did, admittedly, make me feel better.
“Thanks, Jake”, I thanked Jake. He hugged me, and I exited the half-built
building.
Chapter 6
I was crestfallen as I trudged home. My sadness grew so large that it
imploded and collapsed upon itself, yet no tears came. Just stale, numb
disbelief. The truth seemed unreal. Why had that fake manager not told me
who he was? Who was he, anyway? Why did he push me into the box? I had
so many questions and no answers.
But the question demanding top priority was “What will happen to me now?”
Since I had let Billy down yet again, would I be going to the shelter? Or,
perhaps, would I be given one last chance? The journey home to the Mansion
was so automatic that I didn't notice that I was at the door till I bumped into
it. So much for a long, thoughtful journey home. Facing Billy was the last
thing I wanted. Would he be angry? Sad? Probably both. Afraid of his
reaction as I was, I couldn't stand outside forever. I knocked.
The door clicked, then opened. There stood the saddened form of Mr. Grey
Drey.
“Hello, Elliot.” He said mournfully. He used my name. My REAL name. Not
the stupid nickname Billy made up. I realized he was similar to me. People
called him wrong names, he was gentlemanly-
“Elliot, I have some bad news. You had better come inside.” His voice sank
slightly. Oh no. Billy and Grey Drey were already sad. How much more
miserable was I going to make them with MY news? Grey Drey beckoned me
to come inside.
What I saw appalled me. Billy was lying face-down on the couch, and on the
table lay a half-empty box of pizza with three-quarter empty bottle of coke.
He was crying and smelled of extra cheesy, double pepperoni and bell pepper
pizza. I was shocked. I loved Billy, and this sight made me very saddened.
Using sign language as not to disturb Billy, Grey Drey spelled out S-H-A-L-
L – W-E – G-O – U-P-S-T-A-I-R-S (question mark).
I spelled back I – S-H-A-L-L – B-E – D-E- L-I-G-H-T-E-D – T-O – A-C-
C-O-M-P- and then I realized I could just nod, so I did just that and followed
Grey Drey up into my room, where we could talk in a whisper.
“Today wasn't a very good day for us.” Whispered Grey Drey.
“Same here. Tell me about your day and I'll tell you about mine?” I
whispered back.
Drey Grey seemed hesitant to do so.
“Well, you are aware of the fact that Billy worked at Pizza Wizza as the
delivery guy?” He finally forced out.
“WORK-ED? As in, 'past tense', work-ED?” I asked, taken aback.
“Yes. So, he was delivering a pizza... Just as he was about to hand it to the
young couple, he tripped... and accidentally dropped it. He took it to the
couple anyway. “ Grey Drey began. “He tried to convinced them that it
would still taste good and when they did not believe him... He...”
“What?” I asked. I was trying to suppress a smile. I knew this was serious,
but this seemed like the very sort of silly thing Billy would do.
“He took the pizza... and ate a slice to prove it.” Grey Drey uttered solemnly.
I let out a muffled laugh, and Drey Grey looked reproachful.
“And they...” I started, suppressing more laughter. One of Billy's
distinguishable traits, but I could understand why the couple weren't too
happy.
“Fired him, yeah. It was terrible. He took the pizza that couple didn't want, an
extra cheesy, double pepperoni and bell pepper pizza, and ate almost all of it.
Then he drank so much coke I'm surprised he didn't explode.”
I was taken aback. As much as the story was slightly funny, it wasn't funny
AT ALL that Billy got fired. I stood up. “I'm going downstairs,” I told Grey
Drey, and descended the stairs. Grey Drey shook his head behind me in a
hopeless sort of way.
I found Billy sitting on the couch where I left him, hiccuping slightly. He
looked like he'd been crying, and had stopped recently. His face lost some of
despair when he saw me.
“Hello - hic - Cookie.” He said in a shaky voice.
“What's wrong?” I asked, sympathetically.
“Drank too much - hic - coke. I think - hic - you've heard all about it from
Grey - hic - Drey?” Billy signed.
“Yep. Look, you shouldn't feel too bad about yourself, Billy, It's the couple
that should, Perhaps eating the pizza was not the best way to prove your
point, but these sort of clients wouldn't admit they were wrong even you
served it up on a silver platter for them.” I looked at the pizza.
“Hey, it's not even that bad! See, you were right!” While I was not sure if this
was the right thing to say, it certainly seemed to cheer Billy up.
“Thank - hic - Cookie. I don't know what I could have done without - hic –
you.“ Billy gave a small smile and hugged me, stroking my soft fut. I noticed
he was only half – if not less – of my size.
“Shall we put a movie on?” I asked.
“Yeah. Can we watch - hic - something funny?” Billy pressed his face into
my fur. I felt a bit silly, comforting my pet human like this. At the same time,
I wondered whether I should tell him about work today. But that could wait
until tomorrow, when Billy was in his normal state.
“Hic - Cookie?” Billy asked.
“Sure.” I agreed, and turned on the TV. Halfway through the movie, Billy fell
asleep leaning on my shoulder, and by the end I fell asleep, too.
Chapter 7
When I woke up, I was still on the couch, but instead of Billy's shoulder, a
pillow was placed against my head, and I was in a laying-down position and
covered with a blanket. I smelled scrambled eggs and bacon sizzling in the
kitchen. I smiled. Billy was okay after all.
Shoving the blanket off to the side, I yawned and stood up. Rubbing my eyes,
I entered the kitchen. There stood Grey Drey, in an apron, enscripted with the
title “Best mommy ever”, setting up some plates for breakfast, and Billy,
eggs and bacon sizzling away in the frying pan he was holding. When they
noticed me, both of they gave a cheery wave, Billy almost dropping the
frying pan in the process. I popped 3 slices of bread into a toaster, took the
butter out, and helped Grey Drey set up the table.
Unfortunately, when we were seated and ready to eat, as Billy smiled and
plopped an extra piece of bacon onto my plate, Grey Drey got it into his head
to ask, “So, what was work like yesterday?” while smiling and buttering his
toast. I hesitated, but I was pretty sure my face told most of the story.
“You got fired?” Billy asked, the smile vanishing from his face like the sun
going behind the cloud. I felt horrible. “W-well, yes. You see-” I started. I
paused, then told all about the fake manager, Jake, the screwdriver and the
box. Billy rubbed his chin, looking thoughtful.
“That's suspicious, that is. Why would someone want to get you fired? And
how could he know that you fall asleep the moment you were in a box?”
Billy wondered.
“Why would someone dress up as a fake manager?” Questioned Drey Grey,
scratching his ear.
“Look, I don't know!” I said, annoyed. Didn't they get that I didn't know any
more than they did? Just then, Billy's phone let out a small “Ding!”. As Billy
looked at it and his eyes darted across the device, as if reading something, a
small smile appeared on his face, getting larger and larger as he read on.
“I think I've just found the perfect job for us, Cookie!”
***
Billy scrolled for a bit as me and Drey Grey had breakfast, not daring to
interrupt him. After a couple of minutes, he set his phone down and began to
shovel the cold bacon and scrambled eggs into his mouth while smiling – or,
at least, as much as you physically CAN smile while devouring breakfast.
I raised my eyebrows, beckoning him to get on with the news. He held a
finger into air, as if telling me to wait. After he had cleared his plate of the
last crumb of bacon, he swallowed it all in one gulp, wiped his mouth on a
napkin, and began to talk.
“Cookie, I found the jobs on the Internet. One is a job request for a cat
mascot who goes around hanging out flyers. Another is a job for an assistant
in a luxury restaurant.”
“Well, then, my friend, it's perfect!” I exclaimed. “I could be a mascot, and
you could be the assistant!” As much as I didn't really want to be a mascot, it
did seem to fit together surprisingly well. But Billy gave a small, sad smile.
“Heh he. Well, as much as that would be good, I'm afraid that the role of the
assistant includes recommending wine, speaking fancy language, and being
an appealing butler.”
“So?” I asked, failing to see the problem.
“In short, all stuff that I am bad at... and all the stuff that YOU'RE good at.”
Billy gave me an encouraging pat on back.
“So... I'll be an assistant... and you'll be a mascot?” I asked. “But that's crazy!
You can't be a cat! You're not good at it!”
Suddenly, Grey Drey's face lit up. He had stayed silent so far, but now, he
looked as thought he had a wonderful idea.
“Billy might be horrible at being a cat.. but you aren't! You could teach Billy
all about how to be a cat!” Drey Grey pointed out.
“Wait... that actually makes sense! Please, Elliot?” Billy inquired. I shrugged.
“We'd better start, if we were going to train,” I said casually, although inside,
I was jumping with joy. Finally, a job I could be good at!
“Yeah, Cookie, you're right!” Billy agreed. “The jobs said people hoping to
be employee to come at 3 pm.” And without further ado, we went upstars to
train.
I sat in an armchair, and Billy sat on the floor, gazing up at me.
“Okay, lesson one. Talk like a true aristocrat,” I began. Billy was sitting
cross-legged, looking at me at I awe.
“Get rid of like, don't and wont's. For instance, Like, it's so cool here! I don't
want to, like, leave would be turned into It is a wonderful privilege to be at
this location. I do not want to exit.”
Billy nodded slowly.
“You try it now, Billy. This cake is, like, so yum. Isn't it, like, great? Would be
converted to...” I began. Billy made a concentrating face and said,
“This yum is extremely cake – I mean, This cake is yumstremely extra – I
mean-”
I was laughing.
“You have a ways to go before 3 pm, my friend.”
***
Both Billy and I were sweating, and breathing fast. Yet I felt confident that
we were ready.
“Okay, Billy. I am a client that walks up to you. What do you say?”
“Ahem... Welcome to Carl's Cat Cafe store for cat and pet products. I am
pleased to say that I can offer you a flyer, or else a bracelet with our very
logo. May I recommend Bouncy Carl's cat food brand? I find that they are
most nutritious for growing kittens.” Billy blinked twice. He looked surprised
at himself. I gave him an encouraging smile.
“They'll love you, I promise!” I nodded. Billy was going to do great.
***
I was in my tuxedo, bow tie, black gloves and wingtips. Billy was in a silly-
looking mascot costume of a calico cat. His nameplate said “Carl the Cat”,
which I thought was laughable, because calico cats are nearly all girls cats.
He had a stack of flyers in his hands, which were nearly blowing away with
the force of the wind coming through the open window of the cat food shop.
“Ok, Billy, what are the rules to being a cat again?” I asked, testing him.
“Rule 1: Talk like a true aristocrat.
Rule 2: Be dignified, but talkative.
Rule 3: Even if you hate someone, don't show it, or you'll be fired.
Rule 4: Manners, use them.
Rule 5: Don't rush! Give every customer the time and attention they deserve.
All of them.” Billy finished in a confident voice. I was proud of him.
Billy waved me off as I headed outside to go to the gourmet restaurant. I was
nervous. When I got to the fancy, gold-encrusted door, I rang the door bell. A
waiter opened the door, and bowed me inside. I bowed back, and entered.
Soft piano music was playing and red drapings hung in front of me.
Separating them with my paws and stepping inside, I could see that almost
everyone was wearing formal clothes, and talked aristocratically. I picked up
phrases here and there.
“May I assist you with that, M'lady?” “How are you, fine gentleman?”
This seemed like my sort of place. I smiled.
The waiter who bowed to me at the door now came inside. “Might it be that
you are the new employee?” He inquired.
“So it is. Could you, at your leisure, please show me where to go?” I
answered.
“I could indeed. Follow me, my friend.” He took me to a small door with the
sign “Office” on it that I overlooked in the majesty and grandness of the
entire restaurant. I had to duck slightly to enter, but I fit comfortably once
inside. It seemed to be a standard office room with an elderly lady in a red
sparkling dress sitting behind the desk. Once she saw me, she stood up and
shook my paw. The thin fingers of her other hand, with sparkling colored
nails, held an exquisite beverage.
“My name is Sharon, and I am the owner of this restaurant.”
Sharon, although she had gray hair, stood up straight, and she had an air of
dignity, but also friendliness and importance, around her. Her lips were
painted scarlet, to match her elegant dress and wine-red nails.
“Would it happen to be,” she wondered, “That you are the new assistant?”
“It so happens that I am!” I replied, smiling.
“Your job is to walk around, make conversation, and offer samples of wine to
people looking for them. It's quite simple, really. Are you prepared?” She
inquired. I nodded. She set down her beverage, and clipped a little pin with
the restaurant logo on it to my tuxedo. A plate of wine samples was also
given, and Sharon told me to start when ready. I, wasting no time, walked
straight out the door.
My first customer came in under a minute.
“Hello! E-excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but are you really a cat?”
“I sure am, fine gentleman. May I offer you some dry rose wine? I infer that
it has a sense of etiquette and is perfect for a restaurant dinner.” The customer
looked surprised, but nodded eagerly. After he had sampled some of the wine,
he ran off to tell all his friends. Soon, no less than five people crowded
around me.
“I've come with my fiancee for a dinner here. What wine should I give her
before I propose to make a good impression?” Another customer asked.
“I find that it is best to propose a drink of this delicate white wine. I wish you
best of luck,” I smiled, handing him a glass. His face lit up.
“Thank you, sir!”
“My pleasure!”
***
The next couple of hours were similar to this. I was an instant hit. With my
aristocratic tendencies and etiquette, everyone was soon coming over to see
what the fuss was all about. Everyone loved me. As I left to go home after my
shift, I even saw the man who asked me about proposing bent on one knee,
and his fiancee, blushing, nodding eagerly. I was perfect at this job.
I walked home with my head high, fighting the urge to jump for joy. I was
finally good at something! However, when I knocked on the door of the
mansion, Grey Drey down-fallen face told me that something was wrong. My
intuitions were right, I discovered, as I came inside and saw Billy, resting his
face in his hands and muttering, over and over, “But I was doing great! Why
would he do that?”
Oh no.
Chapter 8
I went over to Billy, and sat next to him on couch, all happiness from my new
job fading at once.
“What happened, Billy?” I asked, dreading the answer.
“I-I got fired!” He cried. “I'm sorry, Cookie, what must you think of me? I-I
followed the rules and everything, just like you said, but he still fired me!”
“What?!” I exclaimed, confused. “But if you were doing great, why would he
fire you?”
“You see,” Billy began. “I talked to everybody! I was kind, and gentlemanly.
Everyone wanted to talk to me, and soon I was talking to all the people in the
crowd about their everyday life for 20 minutes each! I was so happy that I
was getting attention that I forgot to hand out flyers. I was standing outside
the door, all the people crowding around me! I was doing great!”
“Well, then, that sounds splendid! Why did he fire you?” I questioned, still
confused.
“Hang on, I'm getting to that!” Billy explained. “So everyone crowding
outside the cafe, and I was a star! But then the manager pulled me inside and
slammed the door. And then he started to complain how I didn't even hand
out a single flyer, and nobody was even going into the cafe because they were
standing outside, talking to Carl the Cat! And then he fired me! Can you
believe it?!” I was shocked. The manager should have just told Billy to stand
in the cafe. Then everyone would have gone inside! I turned to Billy.
“Don't worry, Billy. We'll pull through.” I comforted him with a pat on the
back.
“I got a job, and I'm doing well at it! The money that we've earned should be
enough to pay half of the bills; we can take a loan or something.”
“You did good at your job and they paid you well?” Billy's face brightened
considerably. “That's amazing!”
“Yeah. I got a tip from almost every customer who came to see me. Even the
owner, Sharon, is offering me a pay rise!” I beamed at Billy.
“Great job, Cookie! We just might pull through together!” Billy grinned.
“Of course we will, Billy. We're like family!” I told him.
Later that night, we watched a movie. Billy invited Grey Drey to stay, but
Drey Grey seemed moody and thoughtful the whole night. It was touching
how worried he was about Billy! He might seem tough, but he's really
sensitive inside. We had some snacks, and went to bed. I felt ready for
tomorrow.
Chapter 9
As the week continued, Billy was still trying to find a job. He tried working
as a magician's assistant, but got fired soon. He told me in secret, that he was
too stupid to be taught tricks, and the only thing he could learn was to untie
knots. I, however, was doing awesome at my job.
Day after day flew by. Customer after customer. Five stars rating after five
stars rating. I was doing great! With etiquette and manners, I satisfied every
customer. I offered champagne to distinguished ladies and gentlemen,
samples of strawberry and cheese on a skewer to important government
officials coming to dine at our restaurant. On Friday, feeling pleased with
myself, I went off to the now familiar path from the Mansion to the
restaurant, pushed open the gold-encrusted door and separated the red drapes
to go inside. I clipped the badge on to my tuxedo, and waited for a customer
to approach me. The wait wasn't long.
“Good morning, sir. What item might you recommend from today's menu?”
Asked a lady in a suit.
“I would recommend the cheese and shrimp combo, with broccoli: roasted to
the finest texture, with a drink of-”
“AAA!” Came a scream from a corner. I heard the sound of feet tramping. A
wine glass got knocked over and smashed on the floor with a loud crash. A
crowd seemed to form in the corner, and I hurried over to check what was
happening. My eyes met a horrible sight.
A man with scraggly mustache was convulsing on the floor, coughing and
wheezing. People crowded around him, trying to help. Raising a shaking
finger and coughing, the man pointed to me and chocked out two words.
“It's him.”
***
I sat in the office chair into which I was escorted, confused. I hadn't done
anything! I was perfect! Why would the gentleman blame me, and what did
happen to him? I sat, alone and scared, for several minutes, until Sharon
came in, looking frightened, and with a tear in her eye. She sat down near to
me.
“Elliot -sniff – I am so sorry, but they're forcing me to do this – I am sorry,
Elliot, but – you're fired.” Sharon chocked out.
My eyes widened.
“B-but why? I was doing great, I never even laid a paw on that gentleman!”
“I know, Elliot,” Nodded Sharon, with a face as though she was trying not to
cry. “The gentleman was having an allergic reaction, and nearly died! You're
amazing at your job, Elliot, but I'll HAVE to fire you. The government says
the restaurant will be shut down if I don't. You've been a great help, really.”
Sharon held out a manicured hand. Reluctantly, I handed over my badge. This
was not fair, but it was not her fault. I knew Sharon had no choice. What's
more, I didn't want to shut down the restaurant, or cause any more trouble for
anyone with an allergy to cats. Sadly, I nodded, shook Sharon's hand, and
headed out the office door.
Just as I was about to leave the restaurant, I noticed something strange. The
man with the scraggly mustache was now standing up, and sneaking out the
back door. I was surprised. That didn't seem at all like a man who had almost
died because of an allergic reaction! Besides, there was something familiar
about that thin, lean figure. Acting on pure impulse, I blended into the
background with my spectacular cat skills, prowled forewards, and followed
the man out the door on my padded paws.
Chapter 10
The familiar street full of bushes and trees that I hadn't given a second
thought about now seemed like the perfect place to hide. With silent, elegant
fluffy grace, I sprang, tree to tree, bush to bush, feeling the air rush past me,
feeling the texture of rough bark, damp soil and large green leaves with my
paws, following the man. I've never felt so alive, silent and stalking my prey.
The search had arisen something in me, something I never knew I had.
Millions of years of evolution, adaptation of my species came flooding into
me... no, from me, something that was in my blood, whiskers, ears and bone.
I seemed to know exactly where to place my paws, springing onto nimble
branch, or prowling along, concealed in thick bushes. My ears were
twitching, picking up the slightest sound. I stuck out my tongue and tasted
the air. A familiar scent came from the man.
Suddenly, the man turned a corner. Taking care to creep out of sight and in
the shadows, I crept along and followed the man into a narrow, dark alley. I
almost gasped. There he stood, with fake mustache and beard in his fist, hand
lowered at his side, smiling an evil, horrible smile I have never seen him
wear before.
For I was looking at the lean, thin figure of...Drey Grey.
The world seemed to spin before my eyes, or was it my head that was
spinning? For all the pieces of the puzzle came together. The man at the
grocery store, construction site, restaurant... It was always that thin, lean,
gentlemanly figure.
Grey Drey had been thoughtful and moody lately. Because he was thinking
up the next stage of his plan. But what was it? And why would he do this?
Out of nowhere, Drey Grey marched down the narrow alley. Determined, as
well as confused, I followed.
Chapter 11
The narrow, dark path stretched for a quite a while. I perched on a
windowsill, snuck behind garbage bins, but my mind was elsewhere. How
could it be Grey Drey, honest but loyal Grey Drey who set me up? I always
thought he and Billy got along all right! But on the other hand, he seemed
disappointed when I didn't get fired immediately from my last job and he
never seemed to be alone with Billy too much.
I was so lost in thought that I almost didn't notice as the path got wider. A
sudden burst of sunlight on my face snapped me back to reality. Hurriedly, I
jumped behind a box to hide. Hopefully, he didn't see me, or it would bring
the entire mission down. Drey Grey, however, didn't seem to have seen a
thing. But the shock had brought my mind back to the hunt, even if I was
slightly less agile than before because of my confusion. I blended back into
the shadows.
Oblivious to his silent hunter, Grey Drey marched on. The narrow alley had
led to a street in the local park that finished in a row of houses. What could
Grey Drey possibly want here? Billy paid him generously, but even with that
he could hardly afford such luxury life! Drey Grey walked up to a grand
house, with 3 stories and fancy front porch, took a key, and walked inside.
Before I could follow, the door slammed shut. I perched in a tree, thinking.
When I was at the grocery store, he split open the jar of catnip, intending me
to go crazy and get fired. When I worked at the construction site, he
pretended to be the manager, pushed me into a box, since he knew that made
me fall asleep, and had me sacked. Now, he faked an allergic reaction to me
and forced me to leave. I was getting angry at him properly, now. I waited till
sundown, when the light of the house were on and the TV was playing
loudly. I could hear Grey Drey inside, with my amazing hearing. Finally...
The lights flickered out. I waited several hours just to be sure everyone was
asleep... Then, I creeped through the open window. I knew that was risky, but
I had to know.
I found myself in a large room, dark and filled with strange items. The
darkness didn't bother me. My cat senses cut through it like a knife through
butter, plus, it made it easy to hide. As I looked around further, I noticed that
many of the strange items... seemed to belong to Billy.
A golden statue that, after Billy put it in the attic, we couldn't find anywhere.
An ancient pocket watch belonging to Billy's great-great-great-grandfather
that he thought fell out of his pocket on a walk in the park... All in Grey
Drey's house. He had been stealing from Billy! What more... A ring, given to
Billy by his grandma, that had been lost years ago lay on the coffee table. I
still remembered how upset Billy was when it was lost. Grey Drey been
doing this for years! And there was me, thinking we were friends. He'd been
Billy's assistant for a long time, always loyal – or so we thought. He had been
secretly, quietly, nicking stuff all this time.
Through the darkness I crept, seeing many more of Billy's precious lost
things. I wanted to have a hissing fit, clawing at every bit of carpet in Grey
Drey's mansion, but if I did that, I'd never ever get the mystery solved.
Suddenly, I heard a scuttle. Someone was coming! Terrified, I jumped into a
room and closed the door. Cautiously, I took a peek through the minuscule
gap in the doorway. A mouse was scuttling around, squeaking. I breathed the
sigh of relief and leant against the wall. Immediately, the lights turned on.
I nearly screamed. Was I caught? But looking around, I saw a light switch on
the wall that I had leant on. Thank goodness! I looked around the room... and
gasped.
A dartboard, with a picture of Billy's face in the middle, several darts sticking
into him, and a ridiculous mustache drawn over it. A bulletin board, with
papers and documents and an extremely unflattering drawing of an
enormously fat cat that I didn't recognize. I hoped the poor feline got the help
it needed. Horror-struck, I approached the table next to the bulletin board.
An ink bottle, and signed money transfer documents. Checks from Billy to
Drey Grey, all the signatures Billy looking slightly off. I read one.
“I, Billy of the noble and aristocratic house of D'eclaire du Profitrole, transfer
Andrew Grey $100,000
Billy”
Andrew? Who was Andrew? Reading it over, I realized that Drey could
hardly be Drey Grey's first name. But how would Billy know that? He
couldn't get even his nickname right! The only person that could have known
that was.. Drey Grey himself.
I looked around at the fake documents, the forged signatures. Billy did not
write them. Drey Grey did. He forged the signature and gave them to the
bank, nicking both Billy's stuff, and his money. He'd done it for years, and
now he was making Billy go broke because of it.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps. Actual, human footsteps, coming downstairs.
Without thinking, I grabbed all the documents I could, knocking over the ink
bottle in the process, and jumped out the window.
Chapter 12
I sprinted through tall, dark grass, through prickly bushes. By the time that I
couldn't keep running any longer, I reached a small meadow, upon which I
decided it would be safe to stop. My clothes were dirty and slightly torn in
some places. I sat down, and, as though in a trance, started pulling the thorns
out of my clothes, thinking hard. So, Grey Drey had been nicking stuff for
years and also stealing Billy's money. He had never been loyal in the first
place.
If so, why make Billy go broke, and attempt to get me fired, risking
exposure? He could've made us work, and kept on stealing the money, and
nobody would have ever found out! I remembered the notes I had, that Drey
Grey forged, that Grey Drey has been using to steal money. I had tucked
them into my shirt, so luckily, none of them were lost.
“Money transfer: Billy D'eclair du Profiterole to Andrew Grey, $100,000”
I, Billy D'eclair du Profiterole, hereby leave $100,000 in Andrew Grey's
posession.”
And all of them signed with the not-quite-Billy's signature that Drey Grey
wrote. I felt back onto the grass, my mind in a state of blank shock. I thought
that Drey Grey was our friend! He seemed nice enough. How could he do
this to us?
And, more importantly, what should I do next? I had closely avoided
detection. I had evidence. Should I go to the police? Take on Grey Drey by
myself? I closed my eyes, lost in thought. I had just been betrayed by
someone who I thought was my friend. What now?
I opened my eyes, and stuffed the papers into my pocket. I stood up, brushed
the dried grass sticking to the back of my clothes off, and started pacing
around the meadow. All the dedication... All the loyalty... All fake. He didn't
like Billy, at ALL! The whole time...
I started licking myself. Licking always helped me reduce stress, and right
now I was too stressed out to think clearly. I raised my front paw to lick it...
and the shock hit me like a ton of bricks. My paw was black from the ink
bottle I spilt. I had left footprints. Drey Grey knew.
Chapter 13
The sun was rising on the horizon, drenching everything in gold. I had been
wasting precious time. Now that Drey Grey knew, he would probably pull out
his final move. And since I was still safe, his target must have been...Billy!
I bolted, the way I came from reversed. Maybe there was still time... time to
reach Billy, and protect him with everything I had. I couldn't let Grey Drey
have my human! Perhaps he had spent time getting ready, preparing, there
was still hope.
I was ready to fling myself in front of Billy to protect him, if that's what it
took. Nobody was getting their hands on my human, ever. I was suddenly
siezed with a determination I have never had before. I would throw away
everything to protect Billy. Because Billy wasn't just my human... he was my
friend.
I put all my strength into my already desperately pumping legs, and reached
my top speed. I leapt on and off bushes as if it was just sidewalk, just another
walk in the park. I didn't go side to side, reaching for the best part. Instead, I
blazed through the trees in a straight, faster than ever line. The leaves, bark
and canopies meant nothing to me. No, less than nothing. For the flame
inside me burned brighter than ever. I was going to protect my friend.
In a few minutes, I had reached the mansion. I quickly put in the keys and
clicked open the doors. Then, all the hope fled my heart.
I was too late.
Chapter 14
There was no sign of a struggle. The house was empty, like a ghost of a
cheerful place. The TV sat, flickering black and white, for observers who
weren't there. And, on the coffee table, lay a note.
If you want to see Billy again, come to the roof of Lamptop Tower. Bring the
documents. Make sure you're not followed. If you're not there by 7 AM, the
next time you see Billy will be at his funeral.
–You know who I am
I fell to my furry knees, paws sweaty on the floor. The Lamptop Tower was
all the way in Central City. Drey Grey was playing with me. But Billy was in
danger. Serious danger. I looked at my watch, and my heart dropped.
6:50 AM
I jumped up and ran out the door. I sprinted, into my top speed, and felt the
world blurring around me. The wind rushed through my fur as the blazing
fire, the anger mixed with the desire to protect, burned brighter.
6:52 AM
I saw the Central City in the midst of my blurry eyes, streaked with tears. I
leapt up onto a tree, and was able to go twice as fast a midst the familiar
brushes.
6:54 AM
I fell my paws getting getting tired, but I pressed on. Soon, the trees cleared
and I was back on the sidewalk. I wasn't far.
6:56 AM
I passed the local bakery, the local barber's, the construction site I used to
work in.. and my eyes locked on the Lamptop Tower. I ran to it and opened
the door.
6:57 AM
I started climbing the stairs, on all my four paws. Ignoring my aching legs, I
sped up, through the seemingly endless stairway.
6:58 AM
Judging by the window, I was very high up, and close to the roof. Then, I
stumbled and fell.
6:59 AM
I raised my sore body off the ground and sprinted on.
...5...
I saw the door above me.
...4...
I kept running. Drey Grey and Billy were on the other side of the door.
...3...
I was close to falling over in exhaustion, but I finally reached the door.
...2...
My hand closed around it and twisted.
...1...
I flung the door open.
7:00 AM
Chapter 15
I was at the very peak of Lamptop Tower. The wind ruffled my fur, which
was scratched up and dirty. Without even a conscious thought, my mind
analyzed the scene.
Banners, long, thin and coloured, carrying advertising the city below. The
whole structure was held up by the ropes threading in and out through the
thick metal poles. A rusted, shaky fence of metal wire that broke and drooped
half-way across the borders, leaving one side completely exposed.
And in the middle of this scene, Billy sprawled out and unconscious, with his
hands tied behind his back and a gun pointed to his head. Drey Grey's own
fingers almost touched the trigger.
“Oh, so you finally came. What a shame.” Drey Grey sneered. “Guess I can't
shoot him...yet.”
I was about to sprint forewards, but then Drey Grey tightened his hold on the
gun, and cried,
“One move and he gets it!” and I stopped in my tracks. I couldn't even move.
How was I supposed to beat him? My hope drained away, but it was quickly
replaced with a fresh wave of fury.
“How could you? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!” I raged.
“Oh, it was quite simple.” said Drey Grey and laughed a merciless, high-
pitched giggle.
“A text with directions, and a glass of wine with a toast to his finding a better
job soon. That fool is so naive that he never realized that was he drank wasn't
wine. Easier than taking candy from a baby.”
“Don't you dare call Billy a fool!” I yelled. I wanted to rip him limb from
limb. How DARE he lay a HAND on my human?
“But.. but WHY?” I stormed at the thin, lean figure. Suddenly the usually
dignified man exploded.
“WHY?!?” All of this and you still ask WHY? I would have thought it
obvious! Look at this scumbag!” He drawled eyeing Billy with sincere,
undisguised disgust. “He is supposed to be an ARISTOCRAT. He wears a T-
shirt and muddy jeans! He got his whole life paid for by a stupid business his
great-great-great grandpa used to run! Me? I've worked hard all my life, I've
gotten proper education, I am gentlemanly, dignified and handsome! And yet,
this little twerp is a millionaire, and I couldn't get enough money for one-
story condo!”
Just then... I noticed Billy's eyes flickering. He was waking up! Maybe, if I
could keep Grey Drey talking, Billy could get away...
“OK,OK, you hate Billy! You want money!” I snarled, trying to keep my
voice below a holler. “But why did you decide to make Billy go broke and
risk exposure? Why not keep stealing from Billy like the slimy little leech
you are?”
“Oh, that? You want to know THAT?” Shrieked the treacherous worm, his
voice dripping in sarcasm. “I'll tell you why! That was my original plan, yes!
But eventually... I realized I HATED YOU! ALL OF YOU! Not just this little
jerk unworthy to belong the house of D'eclair du Profiterole! I could easily
hide my hate for him, no matter how strong it was. There was another
problem!”
Billy was now watching this all with a distant look in his eyes. His hands
were twitching behind his back. Proudly, I recognized what he was doing.
Performing his only trick from his job as a magician's assistant. Untying
knots.
“I could swallow my hate for Billy just fine. But then YOU came along!”
“Wh-What?” I asked, taken aback. “I didn't do anything to you!”
“I didn't do anything to you!” mimicked Drey Grey. “Billy was bathing in
extravagance, and then he met YOU! And you two became -ugh- sort of
roommates! He taught you how to read, paid for etiquette tutors and bought
you refined garments! He even played chess with you! Then, you started
thinking about yourself as some sort of aristocrat, and I was stuck serving –
some – greasy – smelly– ANIMAL!”
That was a blow to the heart. I felt tears well up in my eyes.
“And the FUR! Don't get me started on the fur! It was everywhere! And did
you shave yourself, like a gentleman should? No! And you even lick
yourself! You are filthy and disgusting!”
I felt myself go red. How dare he! I cleaned myself with special shampoo! I
was NOT disgusting!
“And that's why?” I said, heartbroken.
“Yeah! I hate you, you hairball huller! You giant couch-scratcher! YOU FAT,
OVERWEIGHTED MONSTER!”
Suddenly, I realized who the unflattering overweight cat drawing had been
of. Tears leaked from my cheeks.
“Couch... I haven't done – that – for years! It was a mistake of my youth! And
do you really think I'm-”
“I do! And this little disgraced fool. I HATE YOU! BOTH OF YOU!
Shrieked Drey Grey, losing control, and with a bang, he pressed the trigger.
But... The bullet met empty air. Billy was slowly, slowly creeping away on
the edge of the peak of Lamptop Tower, freezing in place as he realized he
was caught.
Howling with rage, Drey Grey fired another bullet at Billy – and another.
What happened next... was terrible.
As Drey Grey fired the third bullet... Billy flailed backwards to dodge it and
lost his balance. He tried to grab a banner, but it just ripped. For a moment,
everything was frozen in mid-air. Billy's mouth began to move, perhaps to
scream, or attempt words that never be said in time... And, as tough in slow
motion, I saw Billy...fall off of all the eighteen stories of the Lamptop Tower.
The world was drenched in bloody red from the scarlet sunrise. I turned to
Drey Grey, tears streaming down my cheeks and furious. He killed my
human.
I pounced on him, knocking the gun out of his hands. He tried to claw at me
with his fingernails, but baring my razor-sharp teeth, I pinned him to the
ground and held his hands behind his back.
“You-vile, treacherous murderer!” I screamed, while my teardrops splatted to
the ground.
“Yeah- that's exactly what I AM! He shouted histerically. Then, he broke free
of my grip and tried to throw a punch at me. But I was going to avenge Billy!
Drey Grey didn't have a chance.
I ducked faster than ever, like a shadow, I materialized behind him, kicking
him from the back. He toppled... and reached his gun.
Cackling, he stood up and aimed... but I didn't wait for him to shoot. I
jumped.. over his head... onto a pole that was supporting the banners... and
pushed off, launching myself fist – first at the killer of my best friend.
The last thing Drey Grey saw before being hit was my furry fist, zooming
faster than a lighting bolt towards his face.
Chapter 16
“OW! What the heck? Let me go, idiotic ball of fur!” A seemingly endless
stream of complaints and insults poured from Drey Grey as I grabbed the
rope he used to tie up Billy up and tied Grey Drey's hands behind his back.
Predictably, I started to cry. Billy, who had raised me, cared for me, taught
me how to read, my best friend, was gone. And Drey Grey killed him.
“Y-you are awful! You murdered my best friend!” I tried to make my voice
sound angry, but it just sounded sad as the teardrops splatted on the ground.
“Thanks for the compliment,” Drey Grey smirked, but I heard a note of fear
under his showing off.
Suddenly, I heard sirens in the background, and my attention finally returned
to the outside world. A crowd of people were gathering around something I
couldn't see from this height, and several police cars were pulling up. I
grabbed the opportunity.
Grey Drey seemed to notice this too and the smile got wiped off his face. I
started to drag him torwards the door, where lay the stairway down.
“No! Please, I'll do everything, I swear! Don't hand me over to the police! I'll
stop stealing, I promise! We can split the money in the half, how about that?”
“Be quiet!” I snapped, forgetting my manners. I was sure, for a single second,
that I heard something familiar in the murmur of the crowd, a voice I
recognized... No, it was impossible. I was just really sad, and that's why I
heard voices in my head. I shook my head to clear it.
My paws were getting sore by trying to drag Grey Drey along, so I picked
him up by the collar of his shirt, and started carrying him down the stairs on
all four paws like a cat carrying a kitten.
“Let me go, you, four-legged oddity! You hairy meatball!”
I promptly ignored his protests. If I was right about who that voice belonged
to... a silver of hope unfolded inside me, like a crescent moon illuminating
the darkness, coming from behind a cloud. I knew that there was little
chance, it wasn't true... but what if it was?
“You moth-eaten stuffed animal! You-”
I squeezed his shirt collar tighter, slightly squishing the scruff of his neck.
“OW!” He yelled, and then and fell silent, but I thought I caught the words
“stupid cats!” muttered under his breath. I approached the doorway that lead
to the outside city and police cars, when I heard it again, loud and clear.
The sound hit my ears like a whole wave of happiness, a tsunami of joy.
This time, I knew it wasn't in my head. I swung over the door and the owner
of the familiar voice whirled around to face me.
Billy!
Chapter 17
There was a crowd, and loads of reporters. And in the center, holding a
microphone and telling a story was...
“Billy!” I exclaimed. I ran over to hug him... then stopped.
“How did you survive?” I raised my eyebrow dubiously. I had clearly seen
him fall off the roof!
Billy pointed to the giant TV behind him, replaying one thing. A reporter,
talking to a microphone.
“And that's why we're glad that, after Carl's Cat Cafe closed, loosing its
popularity, we can introduce on this live-stream a new shop...Frank's Cat-”
“Look!” shouted one person from the observing crowd, pointing up. The
camera zoomed in on a distant dot.
Billy was falling, he tried to grab a banner, but it ripped in half and trailed
down with him. Suddenly, Billy, as if stuck by inspiration, grabbed both ends
of the banner in his hands, and flailed it upwards. For one heart-stopping
moment nothing happened.
Then, the makeshift parachute grew twice its size, catching air. Billy got
yanked upward, and people, attracted by the new cafe opening, looked up just
in time to see Billy, suspended in the air, land softly on the ground to make
several funny bows. This was my Billy, I could tell.
Another TV screen displayed footage from a security camera, showing one
picture. A picture of Billy, suspended high above town with his homemade
parachute, grinning from ear to ear. And, in small, white letters at the bottom-
left corner, was written, “Pigeon detected”.
I laughed. Billy never changed!
“Hey, Billy, that parachute business was inspired!” I complemented him.
“And good job catching Grey Drey!” Answered Billy, still holding the
microphone.
“It's DREY GREY!” came a hysterical shriek from the end of the street. I
whirled around. There stood Drey Grey, sneaking away, hands still tied
behind his back. And then, realizing what he did-
“Oh shoot.” He said quietly.
“He's getting away!” screamed Billy. “Someone catch him!”
I was already on it. With agile leaps, I bounced across the pavement, streaked
through the bushes, and jumped onto the running form of Billy's former
assistant. The police were making their way over, too. Grey Drey, looking
frightened, said to the policeman desperately, “The cat did it all!” I gave him
a dirty look. Everyone stared at Drey Grey.
“No,” denied Billy from behind me, running to catch up. He raised a finger
into the air, pointing. “It was definitely the man!”
“I hate cats,” whispered Grey Drey looking distressed as the policeman
locked his already tied hands into handcuffs. As Drey Grey got led away to
the police car, a news reporter, part of the ginormous crowd applauding us,
showed a microphone into his face, and asked,
“So, Grey Drey, what made you do all this?”
“Aaargh!” shrieked Drey Grey.
Me and Billy both cracked up.
“What now... Elliot?” asked Billy.
“We'll see, Pigeon!” I snickered.
“WHAT?!”
Chapter 18
Six months later, me and Billy were sitting on the couch, playing chess in
front of the TV, and eating the delicious shrimps from Sharon's restaurant.
“Breaking news!” said the television. “Professional skydiver takes his buddy
Elliot the Cat, now Junior Assistant to police chief, skydiving in the country!”
There was a thump as tangled mess, and Billy, in perfect form, landed behind
the news reporter.
“So, let's hear from Elliot!” The reporter held up the microphone to the
tangled heap, and a paw emerged, followed by half a cat. I took the
microphone weakly.
“I did not... appreciate that activity.” I said on the television. Billy turned the
TV off.
“Oh, come on, Cookie! You're a police officer, for goodness sake! You gotta
be prepared!” That was true, but...
“Yeah, that reminds me, remember when I let you take a ride in my police car
with me, and you accidentally pressed the button to activate the ejection
seat?” I raised my eyebrow. Billy went red.
“It looked like the air conditioning button!” He disagreed.
“Yeah, right, Pigeon!” I laughed.
A week after me and Billy become stars, Kathleen, the girl from the grocery
shop, came over and returned my best tuxedo. I was happy to find that, after
the truth got out, the boss of the grocery store was fired and given fourteen
months in jail for animal abuse. As Kathleen told the story, Jake, who also
saw us on the TV, dropped by to visit. When they laid eyes on each other,
both of them blushed.
After I helped decipher Grey Drey's document fakeries, the detective
working with me was so impressed that she advised me a career as a
policeman.
I decided to try it out, and found that it was the most alive I've ever felt. Me
and Billy had decided, after the fortune that Drey Grey had not spent was
returned to us, that we would earn our own money instead of relying on the
fortune, out of we donated a large portion to cat shelters. I personally wrote a
note to to supply their inhabitants with proper garments, if required. As far as
I know, no one used this helpful offer.
Drey Grey got ten years in jail, 3 years being added after kicking in the shins
the police officer who miss-spelled his name on his sentence files.
Billy joined the skydiving club, and after several months, got his skydiver's
license. He was now a professional and earning steadily, as was I.
“Aaaand, that's checkmate, Pigeon!” I smiled, placing my piece into the right
position.
THE END
